Relationships: Why You Started vs Why You Stay

Have you ever taken a minute or two to think about your relationship?

 

Convenience, societal pressures, familial expectations, shared kids, marriage, financial reasons, fear (so many levels to this one), don’t want to be alone, safety, security, they make you happy, it’s comfortable, and/or it’s all you know… likely it is some combination of several of these. 

 

Now, these are the reasons we get into relationships and many times we stay without ever re-evaluating. 

 

While all of these reasons are valid and they made sense to you at one time.

 

After doing some reflection you may find many of these reasons are the result of external pressures and mere logistics rather than love, partnership, and true connection. 

 

So, If you are in a relationship. I encourage you to take some time to think about why you began your relationship and why you continue to stay; because being in a relationship should be a choice.

 

You choose that person each day!

 

Through the ups and downs, the ebb and flow you chose them. Relationships are not all sunshine and rainbows and there are difficult times to be expected… but there is a difference in chronic unhappiness, more times of conflict than of contentment, arguments that leave one or both parties deeply hurt by words, and/or vast differences in values… to name a few. 

 

The question is why you started vs why you continue. 

 

Perhaps you will be surprised at the joy this exercise brings and when you think of your partner and the joy they bring to your life is heartwarming.  Your life is enhanced by the addition of your partner and they add value to your existing value. 

 

On the other hand you may find the reasons you remain in partnership with this person are purely logistical or the result of family, societal, or internal pressures. You may find yourself staying in an unhappy (possibly unhealthy) relationship for security, comfort, and/or kids, pets, shared mortgages… and the list goes on. 

 

And it doesn’t feel good. 

 

Do you feel stuck between a rock and hard place… two bad options?

 

You are at a fork in the road; continue with what is comfortable or take control of your experience.

 

The second option requires you to take action and get uncomfortable.

 

Through this process you will unlock parts of yourself you didn’t even know existed, you will grow beyond your current dimensions and never fit back into the old dimensions again. It may be scary, unpleasant, and definitely uncharted territory but if through your reflection led you to question your reasons for staying remember you have  a choice on what to do next.

 

We only get one life, may we always remember we get to make a choice each day. What we choose today may not be the same tomorrow but do we have the courage to go against the status quo and embrace change?